I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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