you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
