I skipped work to stalk him.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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