The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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