Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize