need another drink. this is the easiest way
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
