i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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