Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
