yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
