I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
PANTIES FOUND
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
