so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
