Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
