Where are you?
In a non slutty way
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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