shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
