like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
