how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
this hospital has no fireball
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
