are you still at the devil's house?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
