I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
