How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
