whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize