Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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