i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
