apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I need to sanitize my soul.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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