Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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