I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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