ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
