Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Sober January is a disaster.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
