That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
