I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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