we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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