I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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