I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
as a side note pls kill me
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
