After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize