so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
