If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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