you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
