As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
