Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
