we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
