he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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