You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's blow job season.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize