i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
