I'm lost and stupid without you.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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