it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This is classic penis vs brain.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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