i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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