do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
