would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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