babies were throwing up all over the place
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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