Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
