My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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