Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you had me at cake vodka
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
