I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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