She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
