So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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