Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
