sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
50% drunk capacity currently
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize