Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
