Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
