The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Let's paint friendship bongs
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
