I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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