I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
