worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
