sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
