I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
