should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
