These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
