that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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