I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
