Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize