ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
