Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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